Let’s face it America, the rules for dating have changed and especially for gay men. We now exist in a tell-all social media bubble filled with daily shirtless pictorials and candid sexual confessions. Thanks to countless dating apps it’s easy to get a cheap thrill, but what comes next after the 10 mins of ecstasy? If you’re a gay man living in any major city (NYC, DC, LA) this is our common link, this is our story. Where’s the courtship? Where’s the mystery? Does true love still exist? Well, thanks authors/friends Dominick Gerard and Christopher Williamson, the men behind the new book Boy Meets Boy, your inquiries regarding the dos and donts of romance just may be answered. Due to the fact that both men were simply fed up when it came to cupid and his arrow, they decided to put their stories to paper and create a colorful, yet insightful book to help today’s man in the world of love and dating. The book will exclusively be sold online at www.thehausofvanity.com on April 12, 2014.
1. What was the inspiration behind the book?
Dominick:
“Christopher and I have been friends for quite some time and we both live in Washington D.C. We discovered that while navigating our way through the social/dating scene in DC we’ve dated some of the same guys. One guy in particular we had a conversation about and discovered that he was literally two completely different people in regard to the guy I dated and the guy Chris dated. I thought about how interesting it would be to catalog all your ex’s and how different they would be in your catalog versus someone else’s. It’s like walking into a party and someone has the same shirt on as you…initially it is the same shirt but on a different person it looks different, it feels different, and the same can be said about the people we date. Sometimes we bring out the best in people, sometimes the worst…but it’s in those encounters that we learn lessons about ourselves. So I presented the idea to Christopher and he loved it…He came up with the name and Boy Meets Boy was born!”
Authors: (l-r) Christopher Williamson and Dominick Gerard.
2. Do you think social media has taken the fun out of courtship and dating?
Dominick:
“Absolutely! Social Media is a wonderful medium for meeting people that you might not have had the opportunity to meet before…but no one seems to date anymore! Flirting has turned into “pokes”… Late night phone conversations have turned into back and forth texting, and little is left to the imagination these days in terms of one’s anatomy with everyone vying to get “likes” and “followers”. I’m a hopeless romantic at heart, so I’m still very big on courtship and the magic involved with getting to know someone that you’re interested in.”
Christopher:
“What’s your real name, and not your jack’d name . . . “of course! I remember exchanging guys numbers on napkins, waiting for the land line to ring and talk for hours on the phone. The anticipation of going on your first date was replete with emotional angst and at the same time excitement from the unknown. Meeting people on social media, like facebook and other comparable sites takes the getting to know you part out of the dating process. More than likely, I see your friends, read your posts and comments, and pretty much can determine that this guy may not be for me based on a few biased and presumptive posts. When in actuality this guy just may be your soul-mate. Living in a big city with a small community, there tends to be a lot of rumors and hearsay. Learn a person for yourself, not based on what others think or say. Someone else’s leftovers could be your raison d’être.”
3. With Boy Meets Boys acting as a personal diary for the readers, do you hope that this will trigger a more open dialogue about what we all really want out of a potential mate?
Dominick:
“I really do! It is meant to be a light-hearted poke at dating…but when you peel back the layer of novelty, it can also be used as a tool for you to take a serious look at your dating habits. Most people I talk to about the book assume it’s meant for single men, but I think it could serve as a learning tool for couples as well. If you’re really into someone, imagine how much insight you’d get on their views of love and relationships just by sitting down with a glass of wine and swapping your little black books! Talk about a topic of conversation!”
4. When was the last time cupid rang your doorbell?
Dominick:
“I think Cupid has something against me! My last relationship ended about 8 months ago and It took a toll on me emotionally because I thought he was “THE ONE”…but since then I decided to take some time to focus on me as well as nurturing the relationships with my friends and family, that wasn’t really hard to do seeing as though I didn’t have many distractions because NOBODY has been ringing my phone!”
Christopher:
“There may have been a few cupids that rang the doorbell, but none, as of yet, have entered through the door.”
5. What will the next two installments be about?
Dominick:
“The next two installments will be the same premise (Dating Diaries), but they will cater to different audiences. The second installment being “Girl Meets Girl” is intended for Lesbian women, and “Girl Meets Boy” will be intended for Heterosexual women. The content inside each diary will be different needless to say, in order to fit its audience, but the overall message for each book in the series will be the same.”
6. Do you guys consider yourself experts on this topic?
Dominick:
“(laughs) Well, I’m still single with no signs of a prospect, so YOU do the math!”
Christopher:
“I think love and life go hand in hand. As we evolve, so should our expectation for love. The greater responsibility that we have for ourselves will make sure that we can find a partner that will evolve with us over time–grow together, stay together.”
7. Describe your ideal type?
Dominick:
“I really don’t have a type. Aesthetically, I just know what I like when I see it. If you lined all of my ex’s up…they would vary from skin color, to height and weight; but some key attributes he must possess would have to be Humility, kindness, ambition, and intelligence…platinum American Express wouldn’t hurt either! LOL…I’m soooo joking!”
Christopher:
“Although I have been fascinated with the beautiful, the young, and the restless, I’m focusing on finding someone who is kind.”
8. First date dos and don’ts
Dominick:
“I can only speak for myself and it’s pretty simple. The only thing you should DO on a first date is be your 100% authentic self. Never try to dumb yourself down, or mask who you really are because you’re trying to “impress” some guy! If he likes you, he should like YOU; not some version of yourself that you’re showing him because you think that’s what he’s into. At some point…the real you will show up and if it’s not what he wants, then you wasted valuable time you could have been spending with someone else. As far as the DON’T’S…don’t be judgmental and scrutinize every little thing they do…try not to talk about your EX too much if at all, unless they ask. And most importantly…DON’T start planning the wedding in your head just because you had a good first date. Live in the moment and try to have fun, and if you find yourself “trying” too hard to have fun then chalk it up as an available page in your little black book destined for someone more worthy!”
Christopher:
“You should treat the first date like a job interview. You should ask behavioral questions more so than the standard where are you from. In my opinion, I think getting answers to behavioral questions will get you to the answer of will there be a second date faster. I also think that asking about someone’s goals and aspirations in life is important because you two could be diametrically opposed, then it’s doomed from the beginning. Lastly, have fun, and if it doesn’t work out, there are 7 billion people on this planet, half are women, and the remaining 10% must be gay. You still have choices and options–explore them!”
9. What’s worse? A bad kisser or bad in bed?
Dominick:
“I’d definitely say a bad kisser. You can teach someone how to make love, but if there aren’t fireworks when we kiss then chances are you ‘ll never get me in bed.”
Christopher:
“I think a bad kisser would do it for me, only because you can do it more often and practically anywhere.”
10. Will there ever be a Boy Marries Boy?
Dominick:
“We’re having some conversations about where we want to take Boy Meets Boy…I don’t really wanna say too much as the book is still in its infant stages and hasn’t even begun to walk yet, but I will say this is not the end of Boy Meets Boy…so stay tuned!”
